if you were a flower, i’d pick you first
by renegadekarma
“This is getting out of hand. Our place looks like a jungle.”
“Well, how else am I supposed to have an excuse talk to the flower shop girl if I don’t keep making up reasons to buy flowers from her?”
Benj knew that if he showed up empty-handed, Reece was going to kill him.
It wasn’t as if they had plenty of money to spend. They were struggling university students, and he lived largely on a cup of ramen for dinner (maybe two if he decided to treat himself). His best friend, however, was starring in his first musical that night, and though he knew that Reece would appreciate his presence, he just couldn’t show up without bringing Reece flowers on opening night.
Benj sprinted from the safety of his apartment, nearly tumbling over all the shoes that him and Seth had piled at their door. He’d passed by a flower shop near campus many times that was right next to one of the most popular coffee shops, and though he’d never been inside, he was sure that it would work in a pinch.
The bell over the door let out a cheerful ring as he stepped inside, and he heard the faint call of an employee somewhere that she’d be right over. He waited helplessly by the counter, staring wide-eyed at all the plants lining the shelves and arranged into large, colorful displays at the front before the sound of footsteps drew his attention.
He turned as a redhead appeared, and he stared. “Chastity?”
Chastity, the girl who’d sat next to him in first year English class and had informed him one day that his grammar was shit awful, blinked back at him, unimpressed, and then walked by him and took a seat at the counter. When he stared at her for a few moments longer, she flipped open a magazine and began to read, pointedly ignoring him.
“Excuse me?” he tried again. “I’m looking for a bouquet for my friend? It just needs to be something simple.”
Chastity continued to ignore him.
Benj was wondering quickly if he could get away with picking the flowers around the fountain in the middle of campus and risk the wrath of the gardener before another voice caught his attention.
“Chas, be nice to the customers,” chided a soft voice with a Welsh lilt, “Can I help you?”
Benj turned and glanced at the woman, and then turned back around and stared. She was definitely his age; he’d briefly seen her around campus before, but never this close. She was much shorter than him, and he had to look down to study her chocolate-colored hair, the smudge of dirt on her cheek, and the wide hazel eyes, which were turned inquisitively on him.
Oh, shit. She’d asked him a question, hadn’t she?
He tried to stop staring. “Sorry, what was that?” he croaked, slightly mortified.
To her credit, she either didn’t notice or ignored his discomfort, and gave him a small smile. “I just asked what I could help you with.”
“Oh. Right.” Benj stared at her a moment longer before he recalled what he was there for. “Theater. I mean, my friend has a performance, and I just really needed a bouquet to hand him at the end.”
The young woman bit her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Well, red roses are pretty traditional as far as performances go, but they’re also rather expensive. Do you think your friend would prefer an orchid bouquet? They’re on sale this week,” she offered.
Benj was sure that Reece would be happy if Benj handed him a dandelion that he’d dug up from the tiny patch of grass outside of his apartment building. He nodded eagerly and followed the woman as she moved into the aisle with the orchids and began to arrange a bouquet.
“Don’t mind Chas,” she explained to him apologetically as she plucked a purple one off of the shelf. “She gets like that sometimes when we’re having a slow day and she just wants to go home.”
“I actually think it’s just because she doesn’t like me,” Benj replied with a short, bashful laugh. “She was my partner in English class two years ago. We had a bit of a rough start with peer editing.”
“That’s Chastity,” the brunette said wisely, “She gets a bit dicey.”
“She crossed out three pages of my final paper with a red pen.”
“Exactly,” the girl replied with a nod before she reached for the last flower and tied it expertly in ribbon from her apron pocket. “There you go, Chas’ll ring you up now,” she added, starting back to the counter.
Chastity was still resolutely reading her magazine. “I’ll ring you up now,” she corrected her earlier statement as she stood behind the counter and punched a few numbers into the register. “Is it Les Miserables?” she asked after a moment, and then glanced up. “That thing that your friend is performing in, that is.”
“How’d you know?”
“You’re not the first person who’s come in today that needed a bouquet for one of their friends who was performing. It’s been a common request lately,” she replied with a laugh. “Besides – floral bouquets? For spring musicals? Groundbreaking.”
Oh, God, Benj was in love.
He handed over the total that the register displayed, but the woman shook her head. “Oh, no, there’s a student discount. It’s actually two dollars less,” she explained as she handed him back his extra change. Chastity snorted to the side, but they both ignored her.
She passed him the bouquet over the counter, and their fingers brushed lightly. She offered him another small smile and – dimples? Benj was a goner. He ducked his head shyly, murmured something like a goodbye, and left the shop quickly.
“We’re a campus flower shop, we can’t give out student discounts, not even to boys you think are cute,” Chastity informed Tatiana once the door was closed.
“Shut up, Chas.”
“You’ve got dirt on your cheek, by the way.”
Tatiana squawked indignantly and scrubbed with a hand at her cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” she moaned.
The next time that Benj had to go to the flower shop was for another crisis. He emerged, slightly breathless, and ran to the counter where a blonde woman was rearranging painted pots.
“I need help finding a flower,” he told her as he leaned on the counter.
She looked a little bit alarmed. “I only just started working here,” she explained, “but I can get someone else to help. Tatty?”
A woman emerged from around the corner of a shelf, and Benj would say that he was surprised to recognize the girl as the same one that he’d met last time – Tatty, apparently – but she was exactly who he needed to see right now.
“I need an indestructible flower,” he informed her seriously.
Her lips turned downward. “Come again?”
“My roommate, I love him to bits, but he bought his girlfriend a potted plant for their anniversary and then accidentally dropped it on the way home and then his girlfriend showed up and he didn’t have time to come back himself and get one so he texted me for back-up.” Benj took a deep breath. “I’m desperate.”
“Wait,” Tatty was frowning at him again, “Was he about your height? Dark hair?” When Benj nodded, she sighed. “I just sold him that pot of forget-me-nots half an hour ago.”
“Is that what they were?” Benj tried to recall the shattered remains of the plant lying outside their apartment building and hoped that Eva hadn’t noticed them. “Well, you see my problem, then. I need something more durable.”
“Flowers are delicate,” Tatty protested, but when he leveled his desperate look on her, she sighed. “You’re looking for a cactus,” she said at last, “I know a few that bloom in a heart shape, though, so it’ll still look romantic.”
“My hero,” Benj said with a sigh, and missed how her cheeks turned pink at his words as she plucked a heart-shaped cactus off of the shelf and brought it to the front.
This other employee seemed far more amenable than Chastity, and quickly began to punch buttons on the register when she saw them emerge. “It’ll be five –“ she started, but Tatiana leaned over quickly and punched in another number.
“Three dollars. Student discount,” she added in explanation with a radiant smile.
Benj fumbled for the money and laid it on the counter before he picked up the cactus. “And you’re sure that this will survive if it crashes to the ground?” he asked dubiously.
Tatiana winced. “Try not to do that, but it should.”
“Thanks again,” he added quickly, offering her a small smile in return as he dashed for the door.
Seren turned quizzically to her friend. “Do we give student discounts?”
“What? Oh, no, we don’t,” Tatiana replied hurriedly.
The next time that Benj found himself at the flower shop, it was a week later on his mother’s birthday. Luckily, he hadn’t had to rush because it wasn’t a crisis; he was returning home for dinner that night, and so he’d come to pick up his flowers several hours in advance so they wouldn’t wilt but so he’d have time to drive home.
This time, it was Tatiana at the counter, absently humming under her breath as she watered one of the daisies on display. She looked up when Benj entered and gave him another smile.
“How’s the cactus?” she asked as he approached.
“Intact,” he answered brightly. “Eva loved it, and I won major bro points with my roommate, so I think it all worked out.”
“Are you in search of another indestructible flower?” she asked.
Benj shook his head. “Actually, I need another bouquet. My Mum’s birthday is today, and I thought that I’d do my role as favorite son well and get her a bouquet.”
“What sort of flowers does she like?” Tatiana asked as she left behind the counter and started toward the shelves of flowers.
Benj thought for a few seconds and then replied uncertainly, “I think yellow ones.”
“Oh, me too! My favorites are daffodils, but those seem to be a bit of an acquired taste. Tulips?”
Benj had been slightly distracted by watching her speak, but then blinked uncertainly as she stared at him, waiting for an answer. “Whose lips?” he asked cautiously after a moment.
“Tulips,” clarified Tatiana, pulling out a single yellow flower, and he understood.
“Oh, perfect,” he said at last, reddening faintly, but Tatiana didn’t notice as she continued to assemble his bouquet.
They did the same dancing around each other at the register that they always did, her waving away some of his money as she cited a student discount.
“Your flowers here are surprisingly cheap,” Benj informed her as he pulled out his wallet, “and they’re always really nice, too. Did you grow these yourself?” He nodded at the daisies.
She smiled beatifically over at the flowers. “Do you like them? I play them music because I think that it’ll make them happier.”
“Your secret ingredient?” guessed Benj.
“Oh, no, that’s love,” answered Tatiana at once, and then flushed as she met his gaze over the counter. She hastily turned back to the daisies. “Anyway, take one. It’s on me.”
Benj turned his gaze with some difficulty to the daisies. “They’re lovely,” he said at last as he took a pot. “You sure that you can just give this to me, though?”
“Yeah, it’s fine,” she waved off his concerns as he beamed and picked up the pot, glancing briefly at his receipt as she passed it back. “Nice to see you again, Benjamin, I’m sure you’re mother will love the bouquet.”
“Oh, my friends just call me Benj,” he corrected her with a bright smile.
“I’m Tatty,” she replied earnestly.
“I know,” Benj responded, and then blushed. “I mean, I’ve heard the others say your name before,” he explained quickly, “not that I was just, listening in or – actually, you know what, I better go.”
A few steps from the door, Benj paused and glanced back. “I don’t know much about daisy care,” he admitted, juggling the daisies in one hand and the bouquet in the other.
In a stroke of boldness, she leaned forward and gave him a grin. “I guess that means you’ll just have to come back and ask.”
A young woman with dark hair and a lifted eyebrow, who cleared her throat pointedly, turned Tatiana’s attention back to the counter. “I’m a student too, do I get a discount?” the girl asked.
The brunette stared at her without comprehension.
“Do I have to flirt with you to get a free daisy, too?” she went on, eyeing the daisy pots, and Tatiana sighed.
Benj was beginning to run out of reasons to come to the flower shop. There were no more crises with Seth’s relationship, Reece’s theater run had finished, and no one’s birthday was coming up for a while.
And yet, he found himself back in the flower shop.
“Tatty,” Seren called from the register as soon as she saw him enter.
“Still learning the plants?” Benj guessed as he approached.
“No,” replied Seren as she stepped away.
Tatiana emerged quickly from the shelves, wiping hastily at her cheeks in case there was any dirt smudged there, and brightened immediately when she noticed who it was. “Benj! What can I get you today?”
Benj had prepared what he was going to say along the way. “I’ve realized that we have, like, no plants at home, so daisies are getting pretty lonely and also slightly wilted because I don’t know how to take care of them.”
“Don’t kill my babies,” Tatiana warned him as she weaved down the aisles. “Anyway, we’ll start you off with an easy plant. Do you want a succulent?”
“A what?”
“A cactus, here, let’s get you one.”
It continued like that for some time, with him popping in every few days for another plant for his collection (his plant family, he informed her, was very interested in adopting more), and her being rather oblivious to his real intentions for visiting the store, even if her co-workers pointed it out to her constantly.
Eventually, when Benj had exhausted all the space at his windowsill, he moved on to something else.
“I need a bouquet,” he informed Tatiana the next time he was in the flower shop.
“What’s the occasion?” she asked, brushing her hands off as she stood from where she’d been watering the orchids.
Unfortunately, that was as much as Benj had planned ahead to say. He opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. “It’s for a friend,” he decided at last.
“And is this friend celebrating anything special?” asked Tatiana, opening a book of flowers to check their meanings so she could list them to him again and find something to suit what he wanted.
There weren’t really many reasons to get someone a bouquet that he hadn’t already used before. He quickly ran down the list in his head and selected one. Benj wasn’t sure what possessed him to say that reason in particular, but he blurted out, “It’s for a date.”
He regretted it at once when Tatiana glanced up in clear surprise and then hastily looked back down.
“Of course,” she muttered, mentally berating herself. Benj was kind, and attractive, and sweet. Of course he had a date. “Any preferences?”
“It’s a first date,” he invented wildly, “So I don’t know anything, really. Whatever you think will look nice.”
Benj left the store fifteen minutes later with a bouquet in hand and a lighter wallet, and Tatiana waited until the door slammed shut before she let out a deep sigh that even Cassia, planting tulips, heard from the back.
“It’s not so bad,” Cassia replied after Tatiana explained. “It’s a first date. It probably won’t even go well. Most first dates don’t!”
“You and Lachlan went out on a first date and you’ve been together for a year,” complained Tatiana.
“A year and a half, actually,” Cassia corrected primly, and Tatiana groaned.
Benj, in the meantime, had gifted a few of the flowers from the bouquet to various passerby he’d met on his way back home, before plunking the bouquet into a vase and setting it onto the table.
His visits to the flower shop remained frequent. The excuse that he’d used had apparently worked, and bouquets did seem like less work to maintain than plants, so he thought that he’d found a winning reason to keep dropping by. He did, however, miss the conversation. Tatiana was always helpful, but quieter now, less willing to chatter or shoot him bright smiles as she found him the perfect flowers.
Seth was the one who finally brought an end to it.
“Mate,” he said one day as he struggled to fit a plate onto the dining room table, which was covered in vases, bowls, pots, and mugs all filled with water and flower bouquets in various stages of wilting. “This is getting out of hand. Our place looks like a jungle.”
“Well, how else am I supposed to have an excuse talk to the flower shop girl if I don’t keep making up reasons to buy flowers from her?” Benj complained as he nearly took a seat at the table but paused briefly to move a mug of marigolds off of the chair.
“Stop buying them,” Seth stated plainly. “And before you say it,” he started as Benj’s mouth opened, “You can see this girl even if you’re not clearing her store out of flowers. Just ask her out already. It’s been weeks.”
So with his mind made up, and Seth practically shoving him out the door, Benj found himself back in the flower shop. He walked in confidently, Seth’s pep talk in his mind, before he made eye contact with Tatiana and faltered, his courage suddenly gone.
“I need a bouquet,” he started out as he always did, and Tatiana, disappointed but not surprised, nodded and began to step out from behind the counter, but Benj stopped her, trying to fix his lack of courage now.
“Not right away,” he added quickly. “I want it to be fresh. It’s a really important bouquet, you see.”
“Something important to ask this girl?” Tatiana added, lifting an eyebrow.
Benj bit his bottom lip and then nodded thoughtfully, and her heart sunk.
“If you can just write down what you want, and when you’ll come pick it up, I’ll have it ready for you,” she said without looking at him as she passed over a notepad before she excused herself to go check on the cacti.
The cacti, predictably, did not need any water, but Tatiana didn’t leave the aisle until she heard the bell over the door ring and then the sound of the door closing, and then she slowly wandered back to the counter, let out a deep sigh, and let her head fall to the counter with a dull thud.
“What’s he done now?” Chastity asked immediately, rounding the corner with a trowel held menacingly in one hand.
“He came in for another bouquet,” Tatiana complained bitterly, “For her. And he’s either the best or the worst boyfriend in the world if he’s constantly buying her flowers – I don’t know if it’s to impress her or to apologize – but now he’s got to ask her something important. And I have to sit here and make this bouquet for him!” She gestured to the paper.
Seren had also emerged at the commotion and listened patiently. “You could have just asked him out ages ago and saved yourself all this trouble,” she pointed out.
“I can’t ask out a customer, that just feels wrong.”
“Cassia did it,” Seren pointed out smugly.
Tatiana glared at her and then turned back to the note that Benj had left. “He’s going to propose to her in some beautiful way, and then she’s going to fall in love with him if she hasn’t already, and then they’re going to get married and I’ll be in here making their stupid wedding bouquets.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Chastity said with a scoff, “You’re not still going to be working here when that happens.”
The brunette stared at the paper and then let out a louder groan. “He wants a bouquet of daffodils? My favorite flowers?” She glared at the note so hard that she thought it might spontaneously combust.
Seren peered over her shoulder. “You’ve got three days to work this out. And if you really don’t want to make the bouquet, I will.”
“No, I’ll do it,” Tatiana said with a sigh. “I owe that to him. He likes my bouquets the best.”
“Yeah, because he won’t let any of the rest of us help him,” grumbled Chastity, and Tatiana wisely didn’t point out that that was partially because Chastity never offered him her help.
She stared at the note a moment longer and then tucked her hair behind her ears. “Three days,” she decided at last, “I’ll be less of a mess by then.”
Three days later, Tatiana was only marginally less of mess. The bouquet that Benj had asked was some of her best work; the daffodils that she’d picked were her favorites, and she’d tied them with a bright yellow ribbon. She’d briefly considered giving him the most misshapen, wilted ones for his date, but reasoned a moment later that she couldn’t do that to him.
Benj was also a mess, although his nerves were of a different type. He rehearsed his speech over and over in his head on his way to the flower shop. After deliberating a moment longer by the door, he pushed it open and proceeded inside.
Tatiana was waiting by the counter, where his bouquet was laid. “Beautiful,” he said by way of greeting, looking at her a bit too long to be completely accidental before he cleared his throat and reached for the bouquet. “You did a beautiful job.”
Her smile lacked its usual humor. “It might be my best work yet.”
“How much do I owe you? You can forgo the discount this time, you deserve the full price,” he added quickly as he reached for his wallet.
Tatiana caught her lower lip between her teeth and then shook her head quickly. “This one’s on the house,” she added after a moment, and offered him a quick smile. “Favorite customer discount. She’s a lucky girl, I hope she says yes.”
“Me too,” Benj said slowly. He considered arguing for a moment longer, and then slowly put his wallet back into his pocket and picked up the bouquet.
Tatiana aimlessly busied herself with the register as she waited for him to leave. When a few seconds had passed and he hadn’t moved, she looked up in confusion.
“Here,” Benj said at last, and then handed her the bouquet.
Their fingers skimmed, but she didn’t even redden this time as she stared at him in confusion. “What?”
“It’s for you,” Benj told her, rubbing a hand bashfully against the back of his neck. “You’re the girl I had an important question for. Don’t say anything yet,” he added quickly upon noticing her getting even more confused, and he took a breath for confidence.
“I haven’t been on any dates in months,” he confided at last. “I just kept coming by to buy plants because I wanted to see you and talk to you and watch you tell me about flowers while you picked them out for me. My apartment looks a bit like a tropical rainforest right now because it’s completely covered in bouquets and plants and my roommate has threatened to kick me out if I don’t finally work up the courage and ask you out like I should have ages ago instead of making up reasons to drop by and see you. Plus, I figured that since you’re a florist, no one ever gets you flowers, so I thought that I’d,” he motioned at the flowers.
Tatiana stared. Benj stared back.
“Are you asking me out?” she asked at last in confusion.
“Did I not make that clear?” Benj replied, mildly frustrated.
“You didn’t actually say it!” Tatiana said, her voice rising in pitch.
Benj raked a hand through his blonde curls as he recalled his speech and realized that that was the one very crucial detail he’d forgotten to include when he had been rehearsing. “Oh. You’re right.” He cleared his throat, made up a spot on the line, and grinned hesitantly at her. “Will you go out with me? I won’t buy you any more flowers because I know that you’ve got plenty, but I’ll make it up to you by taking you to dinner instead.”
There was a pause in which Benj was sure that she was going to shoot him down, but a slow smile began to pull up her rosy lips. “Of course I’ll go out with you. Why didn’t you just ask me ages ago so that I didn’t need to make you all those unnecessary bouquets and blow half of my paycheck covering all those fake student discounts I gave you?”
“I love your bouquets,” Benj assured her hurriedly before he backtracked. “Wait. There’s no student discount? Why have you been giving me cheap flowers?”
“Why do you think?” Tatiana replied, exasperated.
“Oh. Oh,” Benj said at last in comprehension as his lips turned up broadly at the corners. “So when do I get to take you out, then?”
“I’m off at six,” she replied, matching his grin with one of her own.
“I can’t believe you made me make a flower bouquet for myself.”
“I can’t believe you kept giving me discounts just because you thought I was cute.”
“I can’t believe you let me believe that you were dating someone and were just some awful boyfriend that messed up so often he needed flowers every few days to apologize.”
Benj paused. “Okay, fair,” he said at last, “but I thought that you’d catch on sooner! I was at your flower shop way more than I should have been.”
“I just thought that you really liked my bouquets,” Tatiana defended shyly.
They were walking side by side in the dim light of the evening, hands skimming as they walked close together. The bouquet of flowers he’d given her was almost gone; they’d handed bits of it out to various strangers as they passed, as had been Benj’s tradition when he ran into someone when walking home with a bouquet, and now only one remained in her hand. Benj carefully reached for it, broke its stem, and then tucked it behind her ear. Tatiana blushed.
As it turned out Benj did, in fact, get her more flowers later that night – ones that he picked from various spots across campus, risking the ire of the gardeners as he shoved them all into a messy pile of yellow petals and muddy stems, and held out proudly for her as he rattled off what each flower meant.
“Daffodils are for new beginnings,” Benj said at last when he pointed at the flower in her hair, repeating something she’d read from her book to him once in the shop. “And also,” he added cheekily, “they’re little Welsh flowers, and you’re my little Welsh flower.”
Tatiana had arranged many bouquets in her lifetime, but she had to admit that she’d never seen one as beautiful as the one he’d just made her. She told him that a moment before she stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his at last.
renegadekarma 